It is my last day and I decided to walk through the city. One last time to take in the sites and the sounds. One last time to walk past my grandmother’s apartment that has long been sold to others. In some ways, I feel such a part of this city. I belong here, this is mine. And, in so many other ways, I am a stranger here. It’s always been that way for me, one foot in each country, craving one while I am in the other.
Leaving Argentina has always been hard. For some reason, this time, it’s harder. Maybe because I am by myself or I am older or I had enough alone time here to take things in…. I am not sure. So, these words are perfect for me to see. I want to hold on to all of “the essential.” I struggle while trying to figure out how to stay one more week, one more day, how do I come back…. “let it be.”
The connection I feel with my family here is incredibly important and healing to me. It has always been that way. With this trip, I feel I have been brought to life again. It has been with love, with laughter, with hugs, with shared stories. It has been with new possibilities and new perspectives.
How do I bring this feeling back with me? How does the story continue? What is important and what do I want? How do I capture this and keep it forever? How do I protect this and make it last?
My family in Baltimore needs me, they tell me they are sick of restaurant food! It’s been a long time since I unrolled my mat, and I want to take care of myself around food. I know it’s time for me to go. So, how to take the “essentials” the part that “can’t be seen” with me? That’s what is important here. I think that is what I love and that is what I miss the most. “Let it Be” it is out of my control. The same forces that brought me to this place in my life will guide me through my next chapters.
So, I am bringing back the mate, will start to share it and add it to my practice. I worry about how it will go. Will people “get” that it is about the essentials? Will they be willing to take a moment to be with each other and pause? It is life giving to truly listen to another human being, love them and be present for them. It brings a whole other level of value to ones life when the relationships we have around us are those that feed our soul. I keep telling myself to let go and not hold on too tight. It will be what it will be. Wherever this story takes me, it will be the journey that fills me.