I read a statistic yesterday that horrified me. Now, granted, using Facebook as a “fact-based” source is a poor idea to base a blog on, but let’s say its content is even half true, that would mean approximately 48% of women hate their bodies.
48%!!!??? Maybe more. I thought it was just me!!! I asked around yesterday, asked friends, asked clients. All of them nodded their heads, a shy nod, a shameful nod. This morning I feel so compelled to address this that I am a bit at a loss of where to start.
My weight issues began at the ripe young age of 13. Almost like a switch was flipped, I learned that my body was ugly and the food I ate had to be limited. I was different than others in that my body gained weight easily whereas others were free to eat what they chose. The terrible and horrible added layer to this is that it compounded upon itself. Meaning, the more I hated my body, the more I ate, the more I punished myself, the more I hated my body.
This “rat wheel” that I was on, could be named many things. It could be named bulimia or anorexia or orthorexia…but all of those things seem to diminish what was going on and none of those labels actually fit. I was the rainbow! A piece of each one, melting into the other and making me absolutely insane. Rather than focus on studies and having fun, I concentrated all my teenage angst on hating my body and twisting it into anything other than what it actually was.
And, the one thing that could soothe this pain, was the one thing making it all worse, food. No one could help me.
It wasn’t until after my teens that small solutions even showed up. Possibilities of how I could find a way out, only came AFTER those beautiful years were over. So, basically, they were gone and wasted. What could I have done with all that time? Learned piano? Taken voice lessons? Had an equal relationship with a boy? Fought for something I believed in. So many things could have been accomplished with all that energy and time.
Now I am finding out that most others feel the same. Are we all wasting our time? Am I, as a food coach, contributing to that feeling at all? Is that why people roll their eyes when they learn about what I do? Is that why friends drop off the face of the earth when I give them advice that they have asked for? Is that why people are worried about what I am going to bring to a potluck? Are we all in the same boat here?
It took me years and years to get out of constantly shaming myself for the failures at dieting. YEARS my friends. Since then, I still have my ventures into the darkness. Oh yes, as my teacher said, “once you are a pickle, you are always a pickle!” My desire and my life’s work is to save people the self-hatred that I felt for so long. I don’t want one more female, teenage or otherwise, to waste one more second on hating their bodies.
We have work to do!!! The planet is going to pot! There are crazy people saying crazy things and we are so busy throwing daggers at the mirror that we aren’t out there stopping them!!! People with automatic guns are shooting innocent people and we are distracted because the size 10 pants we bought last week don’t fit.
Are you picking up what I am laying down here?
If you are in any way hating your beautiful body that is getting you out of bed in the morning and carrying you through your day, seek to heal. Whatever you need…meditation, a workshop, a book, a good teacher – something anything. I swear, no matter what people say, this CAN be healed. You can change. You do not have to spend a lifetime hating the only thing that is actually truly yours. I am here to prove that.
Want to work on this together? Contact me and let’s make a plan!