One of the main reasons I do what I do is that I have had weight issues for many, many years. I was plagued by how unhappy I was with my weight. I know… some are ok with their curves and the bigger the better, but I was not one of them. I wish I was.
At 13 years old, I started my obsession with food and weight. The hours I spent thinking and mulling and obsessing could have been used so much more constructively. When I think of all the time I wasted, I am literally brought to tears.
The negative focus on my weight didn’t only come from inside though, I was tormented by family members and had comments from boys I was interested in. I was never the pretty one, but rather the “chubby” side kick. All the while, I was pained by the whole thing.
Even after my weight got within normal range, being thin was still an obsession. I had a teacher once tell me, “once a pickle always a pickle. You can’t go back to being a cucumber.” What a great way to put it right? Since I had a weight issue, I might be haunted by it for life. And to be totally honest, I am.
Yesterday, I was reading about the singer Sia. I am obsessed with her voice, the lyrics and the videos. I didn’t realize though the real reason she hid her face. I thought she wore the big wigs much like other extreme musicians, mixing fashion, art and music. But, what I read was about the hyper focus fans have on looks. And it all kind of came rushing back. How smart of her, to take her physical appliance out of the loop entirely. She has people focus on her voice… her art. That’s it! Screw the way you think of her body.
I cried as I read about her freedom. Incredible.
I have a daughter. This beautiful child is 12. She talks about her weight and stands sideways in the mirror. All of this has happened without me saying one negative thing about her physical appearance ever. It pains me to think that she will not only be under the same scrutiny as I was, but it might even be worse for her. The models she sees with toothpick legs, the actresses on TV with belly exposed, the song lyrics that draw attention to shape and size… sad.
If we were to live in another era, maybe what we are considering beauty would be judged negatively. What if what we really need is to focus on health, on having energy, on having our brain work correctly? What if it is really about getting the inflammation down?
Women have spent decades obsessing on being thin, and we have lost sight of our strength and purpose. And, while we are spending hours in the mirror, shooting daggars at our body, the rest of the world is able to let loose and wage war. I know… a bit extreme to link wars on the planet to weight issues. But, could it be that the feminine energy has been so distracted that it has allowed destruction to go on?
Back to me…. I wish I could help more women and give them their life back. Help people to give up the vigilance with the scale and work more on getting healthy and strong. What is amazing is that focus on weight loss and calorie restriction only creates more focus on weight loss and calorie restriction. Focusing on health and balance creates freedom. I want that for women that are sad about their bodies. Can we all agree to do that together?